Just when I think I’m getting better

I’ve been on this preoccupied drive this past little while on making garments for myself. As often as I get it wrong I more frequently end up creating something I never thought I’d like yet end up adoring. And while this shouldn’t strike me as surprising somehow it always manages to do so.

The issue lies in a couple of areas though. I’ll start something I think will turn out wonderful but, haven’t really decided who the recipient of said item is yet. It reminds me alot of the main protagonist of a book called Knitting: A Novel by Anne Bartlett. Often for myself being in this preset of wanting to keep more things for myself I end up thinking it’s something I’d like for myself at some point. Unfortunately that point often comes after its intended recipient is discovered (or more likely in this case claims it).

Said item I knew wanted to be a pretty sizable wrap and according to my supposed yardage I’d have enough to at least complete the pattern as charted but, the closer I got to the end the less yarn became available at a much more rapid rate than I expected. Which led me to have to regroup, frog several rows and utilize the remaining skeins of Spirited after having completed my cardigan.

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Which leads me to issue No. 2

When I do complete something having preplanned it for myself it often ends up yet again in the hands/possession of another. Why? Because in that moment that I crazily  generously give it away is this overwhelming urge to suppress my natural inclination to be selfish. I feel bereft but not remorseful having given Spirited away. I made it because it was filling a need I actually had in my wardrobe and I was quickly making it my favorite go-to-cardigan. Even at this very moment as much as I’m missing it I know with certainty in the moment I let it go the recipient needed it 1,000 times more than me.

I’ll just have to make another and maybe work slightly less hard to be selfless…

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